Are you hoping for an outcome or are you committed to it?
(Bonus subject: Need help identifying your personal core values?)
“I just can’t believe how much I’m getting done right now.” I’m cruising down I-95 midway between two meetings and countless other cars, listening on Bluetooth as my friend continues to share his excitement. “It just changed overnight and it’s like everything is just lining up so easily,” he says. From my perspective, it’s perfectly clear and I say back to him, “Nothing solves problems faster than a committed mind.”
"Nothing solves problems faster than a committed mind."
He’s quiet for a minute and I can hear him processing what I just said. Finally he responds and says “Oh my God, you’re absolutely right.” I’ve known him for years and he’s been stuck, feeling like he wasn’t in control of his business and expressing his frustration about it regularly. He kept following this unfulfilling path, hoping it would get better over time, and yet it actually just kept disappointing him more. Recently though, he had committed to uncouple himself from his partners and set out on his own within 60 days – and everything changed – instantly. After I hung up with him, the words about a ‘committed mind’ that came so freely to me, lingered in my thoughts. I began to ponder about what distinguished commitment from hope.
What distinguishes commitment from hope?
I heard a fable years ago about the distinction that made it super clear for me. It goes something like this… A platoon of troops is making its way through a hot and tangled jungle behind enemy lines when they come upon a solid concrete wall that is at least 15 feet high. The wall seemed to extend as far as they could see in both directions. The soldiers all start to groan and gripe about their circumstances, complaining about their bad luck. Some suggest resting there until help arrives, while others want to walk along the wall in the hopes of finding a break or an end somewhere.
Thinking quickly before his troops got consumed with the circumstance, their sergeant walks up to the wall, removes his helmet and orders the rest of the platoon to do the same. Knowing they are in sniper infested territory, some of the men are reluctant, but follow their commander’s orders. The wise sergeant then says, “Gentlemen, I have a plan. On the count of three, everyone throw your helmet over the wall” and then without hesitation he counts to three. The entire platoon follows his lead and chucks their helmets up and over the obstacle in front of them. Just then the soldiers start to realize what they’ve done and one brave soul musters the courage to ask the question that’s suddenly on everyone’s mind. “Now what is the plan Sarge?” With a sly grin he responds, “Well 5 minutes ago we were just interested in getting past the wall and hoping for some better luck… And now we’re all committed to getting our butts over this damn wall right now.” 15 minutes later the troops had found an innovative way to scale the wall – creating a human ladder of sorts – and were on their way with their mission again.
Allied PRA, CEO Tony Lorenz commented on the last article that I published about being inspired to return to Positano as a thriving entrepreneur. He said, “…It is so easy to get caught up and then the time is forever lost. The key is the ten years, versus someday.”
He’s absolutely right. If I simply hoped to get back to Positano someday, it would remain some nebulous dream without any accountability. What matters most, is how it lives in your thinking. One simple way to distinguish if you are hoping for an outcome in your future versus being committed to it is this. To what degree do you believe that achieving the result you want depends on outside factors versus your own actions? If you believe that when the stars align that you’ll achieve your dream – sorry, but you’re just hoping.
"…It is so easy to get caught up and then the time is forever lost. The key is the ten years, versus someday."
hope , noun – 1.the feeling that what is wanted can be had or that events will turn out for the best:
A commitment craves specifics. You don’t need to make your commitments public, but it helps if you do. That’s why I turned to my wife immediately and made the declaration about returning to Positano in 10 years. Since then I’ve been repeating my commitment to others, especially people who could help support my goal. I even have a picture of Positano on my phone background. In fact, that’s partly what motivated me to write the article in the first place. In just a few days over 600 more people know about it, and some will keep asking me about it. Is it scary to make your commitments public? Well, that depends, are you really committed?
In my experience, the power of being committed shows up in my daily life like this: it lives in my thought process around decision making. Everyday situations arise, some insignificant, some critical, and my commitments serve as THE context that informs my choices. “Does saying ‘No’ to this potential client get me closer to my goal? Should I stop reading the newsfeed now and start writing my next article instead?” As for my buddy from the beginning of this post? He became committed, and all the circumstances that had been in his way suddenly became opportunities for action. Today he’s been the happiest he has ever been since I’ve known him. So, here’s my suggestion for you.
Ask yourself which of your hopes can you convert into commitments? And who you will share them with?
Core Values BONUS Section…
There’s no shortage of speakers, books and articles espousing the value of core values – and for good reason in my opinion.
At my firm, iluma Agency, getting clear about our company’s core values and then creating practices to hire, fire and act according to them has improved our results significantly. However just like an organization has core values, so do you. Many of us just don’t spend time to distinguish them, which limits our ability to harness their impact on our daily lives. So if you need help identifying yours, here’s where to look…
Consider your commitments. What do you already know you can be counted on for? What we will deliver, no matter the circumstance? The reason WHY you have that particular commitment is one of your core values. I don’t hope to stay married to my wife for the rest of my life. I’m committed to it, and I always have been. Does that mean we never disagree? Definitely not. Does it mean that I take action and find new ways to ensure our relationship is strong, bringing accountability to my communication and looking for new reasons for us to enjoy one another’s company? Do I compromise instead when I’m certain I’m right? Of course, it’s what I’m committed to. So one of my core values? Lead by example
when you’re clear about your core values, they become the ultimate litmus test for your commitments across your personal and professional life.
“The secret to achieving inner peace lies in understanding our inner core values – those things in our lives that are most important to us – and then seeing that they are reflected in the daily events of our lives.” – Hyrum W. Smith, co-founder of Franklin Covey
